This post comes courtesy of the wonderful newsletter “Pure Heart, Simple Mind” (R) the Official Newsletter of Seishindo(tm) Written by Charlie Badenhop, the originator of Seishindo. It is re-printed with permission. My thanks to Charlie Badenhop.

These are Charlie’s words:

I”ve just spent ten days with my 89 year old parents, preparing them to move to a senior citizens home. Wow, what a roller coaster ride!

My father was angrier and more abusive than I’ve seen him in ages.

When he wasn’t lashing out at me he was giving a hard time to my mom, the dog, and the neighbors, who had come over to walk the dog.

Needless to say, it wasn’t easy being around such behaviour, but I definitely extracted some high quality learning from the experience.

it didn’t take me long to realize my father was frightened.

Frightened of dying? Yes, that’s likely.

But more so, I began to realize he was terrified my mom might die first and leave him on his own.

No small fear for a guy who after sixty-three years of having the same bureau, still doesn’t know which drawer his clean socks reside in! And don’t dare ask him to operate the washing machine. He looks at the dials as if they’re written in a foreign language.

On one hand he’s a despot.
On the other hand he’s so helpless.
At times frightening, and even revolting
But then again, he can also be so “cute”

By seeing, and to some extent feeling, my father’s fear, I was able to generate a deeper level of compassion for him. Compassion for a man who knows he’s losing control, and uses anger as a way to keep himself from feeling.

As a child, I was beaten many times by this very same man.

It’s forty-three years now since the last time my father physically punished me. Yet this is the first time I’ve had a clear realization of just how scared he was, and has been his whole life. This is the first time I realize that even then, he was afraid of losing control, and used anger as a way to keep himself away from feeling.

Beating me was his strategy for transferring the fear he felt, onto someone else. His strategy for exorcising his fear.

It’s no small point to note that exorcising and exercising are two very different activities!

Today, I could see my father’s trapped in the jail he’s built.
Unable to admit to himself what he did, he’s unable to admit to others.

Unable to forgive himself, he’s unable to say he’s sorry.

Unable to rationalize what he did, he remains stuck in a state of denial.

Being both prisoner and guard.
He’s in possession of the lock and the key.

With little idea of what freedom would be like,
And unsure that he deserves to be set free.

So I’ve decided to take the initiative, and truly forgive him, for the both of us.

To give him that much more of a chance to free his soul, before he passes.

To give myself that much more of a chance to free my soul before he passes.

Forgiveness and freedom go hand in hand. The more you forgive, the less of the past you’ll need to drag along with you, into the present.

When you’re able to “only be here” you wind up discovering life is everything you’ve always hoped it would be!

Do I condone what my father did to me? No way!. I would never want to condone any parent beating their child.

It’s important to remember though, that “forgiving” and “condoning” don’t at all need to go hand in hand.

Forgiveness is a selfish act. The more you forgive, the happier you’ll become. Believe me, it’s well worth the effort!

Yours in freedom,
Charlie

Copyright

“Pure Heart, Simple Mind”(tm) is written and edited by Charlie Badenhop (c). All rights reserved. If you would like to subscribe to the Seishindo newsletter please go to the following link.
http://www.seishindo.org/newsletter.html

Charlie Badenhop
Arati Co. Ltd.
2-23-20-101 Maruyama, Nakano-ku,
Tokyo 165-0021, Japan
http://www.seishindo.org

PEACE

I don’t normally bring technology into this blog; but as we begin this Holiday season, I believe it is important to help those much less fortunate than ourselves. Here are three videos to bring you up to speed:

For some villages the light from the XO is their only source of light. If you browse around on YouTube you will find homemade contraptions built from scraps by villagers to charge the batteries.

Education can change the world!

If you’re interested in helping go to Amazon and participate in the “Buy 1 – Get One!” promotion. Buy one for a child in a third world country and get one yourself. Amazon is providing free shipping and it is a tax deductible purchase here in the U.S.

I am amazed that Nicholas Negroponte, of MIT, and a dozen or so passionate believers were able to hold a vision this big and to bring it to reality. Imagine what Silicon Valley or the US government could do if it was motivated the way these dozen or so people are.

Can you imagine the naysayers? A $100 laptop? Are you crazy? A laptop for every child in the world?

I feel blessed to be able to help this dream become reality.

pete

I received this message from Petrina, my Yoga teacher, this morning.

Greetings,

I’m offering you inspirational excerpts from my teacher Sakyong Mypham Rinpoche’s recent message to the Shambhala community:

“The upheavals in the financial world are causing widespread distress, as are fears about climate change, intensified political polarization, and rising aggression. It is what the Shambhala teachings call a dark age. We experience the darkness as confusion, unhappiness, and lack of purpose.

It was for times like these that the Buddha gave the teachings on enlightened society to King Dawa Sango, the first sovereign of Shambhala. At present, the truth of those teachings is very clear. For a society to be truly harmonious, it cannot be based on greed and anger.

First, take precious teachings to heart and practice them. That includes meditating for a short period every day to stabilize your mind and generate compassion.

Second, see fear for what it is: a lack of trust in your genuine being, which naturally radiates compassion and kindness. Take the big view of what is most important in this and future lifetimes: to become stronger and more realized in order to help others. Take care of yourselves, but don’t hide behind the false security of self-protection. From the ground of basic goodness, open your heart and serve others.

Third, be generous. This is not a time to close down or hold on, but to offer from the natural well-spring of generosity. Be generous with those you love, but also with those you are tempted to blame or dislike.

Practicing, serving, and giving: this is the path of the warrior bodhisattva. It is both transcendent and earthy. When we orient our minds this way, we are creating a sustainable environment. The wealth that it generates is inexhaustible….”

Thank you, Petrina, for sending this beautiful meditation to me.

in appreciation,

Pete

What is the connection between our spiritual growth and our work? Most people keep them separate. It’s pretty common to feel that work is work and the spiritual stuff shouldn’t be mixed in with our professional lives. A contrary view of what it is to be a working professional and an effective leader is emerging.

Aren’t we most fulfilled when our life’s purpose and our work are aligned?

Robert Frost says it brilliantly in the last stanza of “Two Tramps in Mudtime”

My object in living is to unite
My avocation and my vocation
As my two eyes make one in sight.
Only where love and need are one,
And the work is play for mortal stakes,
Is the deed ever really done
For Heaven and the future’s sakes.

Aren’t leaders most effective when they inspire those around them to their best work?

Inspiring others isn’t something that comes from authority. Authority produces compliance. Inspiration is not something that we can fake or think through with our minds. It is the ability to access the deepest parts of ourselves; and in so doing touch the hearts, as well as the minds, of those around us. Accessing the peace of the heart, speaking from that sacred place, and touching the hearts of others is what makes great leaders. It is a spiritual journey that we take for ourselves and those we serve.

Aren’t we most effective when we can stay grounded and present during chaotic events at work?

This is more than just ’staying calm’, it is the ability to let our purpose guide us, to be totally present to what is happening, and to take appropriate action. The deeper we feel our purpose at work the easier it is to navigate chaos. Our purpose is our GPS system. The more we can stay present in the midst of chaos and not let our minds run away into judgments or worry, or thinking in general; the more we can see the situation clearly and the better the chances we will act appropriately.

If we connect with people and we are truly present with them, aren’t we more apt to build trust with them?

Being present means not thinking about what we are going to say next, nor is it having silent judgments about what they are saying, “That’s not right.” “That’s naive.” “That’s a great idea.” It is listening, actively and openly. Training our minds to be present is the underlying concept of meditation, a deeply spiritual endeavor

Perhaps the workplace is the best place for us to engage our spiritual selves. The connection between our spiritual journeys and the effectiveness of our work lives is impossible to sever. We may think we can compartmentalize our spirit from our work, but over time the artificial barriers break down. After all, we can’t help being who we are.

Aren’t we most effective and most fulfilled when we are fully human…even at work?

pete

Here are three highlights from the last class that I thought were exceptional.

In the first clip Eckhart Tolle explores the idea that when the mind gets anxious and fearful the body reacts as if something was really happening. The body reacts by producing the emotions and contractions that it would if it were in the midst of a real situation.

In the second clip, Tolle tells the story of the ‘Duck with a Human Mind’. Two ducks get into a ’spat’ on a pond; since they don’t have egoic minds, getting over the incident is easy. What happens if it is two humans having the ’spat’?

In the final clip, Tolle speaks about two monks, one who carries a girl across muddy patch and sets her down and one who carries the incident in his mind for hours as they walk.

pete