In the last class, Eckhart Tolle invited us to look at the daily problems and challenges we face as opportunities to practice being present rather than being dragged into a mood of negativity. He uses the example of being caught in a traffic jam. We can either get angry and frustrated, or we can drop into a practice that has us become more present. Our outward situation doesn’t change; but our mood does.
This example is one with which most of us are familiar and it encompasses so much of what Eckhart Tolle has been exploring.
What is, Is. Complaining about it is not helpful nor effective. Our emotions can cloud our judgment.
Accept the situation for what it is, even if we don’t like it. “I am stuck in traffic.”
We can take steps to extricate ourselves from the situation; but we do it without the emotion of “This shouldn’t be happening to me.”
In the case of being stuck in traffic, we can deliberately choose to practice being present. It’s is a great opportunity to be still.
I found Class 4 to be the most interesting of the series so far. Eckhart Tolle recommends to a caller that does a lot of centering, breathing, and presence work at home; but doesn’t sustain it when he is criticized be his boss; that the caller incorporate stillness and presence all through his day, not just at home.
In another part of the conversation, Tolle tells the story of a Zen master watching an archer try to win a contest. Because he wants to win so much he is drained of his power.
This is particularly interesting to me because I have always been driven to succeed. This has entailed a lot of stress and anxiety which I believe has taken away from my performance in the moment.
So one of the key messages from Monday night is that we can create tiny spaces for stillness and presence at work, or wherever we happen to be; and these spaces grow over time.
The other message is to be in the moment. Plan if we have to; but when we begin to execute the plan we must be totally in the present, or as athletes say, “In the Zone”. If we are thinking ahead or worrying, it takes away from our performance.
I was touched by the discussion of Eckhart Tolle’s quote:
“What you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself.”
When I first encountered this way of looking at things, I thought it was silly. If I am upset with you because you aren’t reliable, how does that reflect back to me? How can you say that I am unreliable? With the help of stillness, I began to see parts of myself where I sometimes do not follow up, and I am unreliable.
Somehow, the more I sit with this, the more it rings true for me.
So, when I get impatient with people who seem very structured and attached to their views of the world; the suggestion from Tolle is to use this as a mirror to see if this structure and desire for control lives in me. Once again, I see that it does. I’ve always striven to be in charge and for almost my whole professional life I have been the ‘boss’.
What a great tool to use to see ourselves in a new way. Tolle says that the strength of our reaction is an indication of how much the behavior may live in us.
The next time I feel a surge of negative judgment, I will use it to trigger some inward reflection; for I believe it is a mirror of something that is going on…in me.
One of the interesting points that was explored in this week’s class was the idea that there are two ways to complain. When we complain with our ego we bring emotion and judgments to the complaint. We personalize it. This is generally not effective because it causes the person to whom we are targeting the complaint to get defensive.
Does this mean that we can never speak up to change something that isn’t producing the results we want? No, it simply means that we state the “what is” of the situation or behavior, without our ego involved.
We can complain to the waiter that “MY SOUP IS COLD!” in frustration and indignation (our ego at work); or we can state to the waiter that “My soup is cold. Please take this back and bring me hot soup.” without the emotion.
I remember telling one of my subordinates who was not performing up to my standards that I did not trust them. The person completely lost their temper and began shouting at me. I see now that my ego was at work creating an ‘I’m better than you drama’.
I would have been much more successful if I had stated the behaviors and actions of this person that were not up to my standards, nor the organizations. I might have gotten some ‘pushback’; but not the ‘over the top’ emotional reaction that ensued.
There were several incredible moments with Eckhart Tolle and Oprah this Monday night. I’d like to focus on the recurring theme of Presence. The show began with 10 seconds of paying attention to breath. Watch the clip.
Throughout the evening Tolle referred back to the same practice over and over. At the end of the 10 seconds look at Oprah’s face. She is truly present, as are we, if we participated in the practice.
Later in the program, Tolle offers us another practice:
I have a suspicion that the next 8 classes will keep circling around to the same theme over and over. I don’t have a problem with that. It takes practice.
I guess the biggest challenge is maintaining presence in the midst of action and interaction. It’s one thing to close your eyes and feel your breath or your hands when you are alone. It’s quite another to be interacting with a team of people or to be in the center of a crisis and to be present to your breath, your hands, and your inner aliveness. It’s so easy to get carried away in a torrent of thoughts.
A great moment in Monday’s class came when a caller from Qatar asked whether Tolle thought people were ready to “waste time” being still if they were already successful.
Tolle answered the following way:
There is quite a bit of wisdom in his answer. When it comes to change we often make it abstract…”will other people do this or that…”
I found listening to Eckhart Tolle, during Oprah’s online class a rewarding experience. He was gentle and non-judgmental in his speaking. He seemed to embody the teachings he has written about in “The New Earth”.
Many points stood out for me from the first night of discussion:
1. Many people ask, “What is my purpose?” or “What do I want out of life?” That’s okay; but a more powerful question is “What does life want from me?”
This is a really helpful way of approaching ‘purpose’. Tolle goes on to say that we are most successful when we create stillness in our lives so that we can feel the response or the ‘impulse’ when it comes. According to Tolle, it may not come immediately; he gives the example of telling life that he was ready to take on more; to do more in the world. Several years passed and one day he felt the impulse to move to Vancouver from London. There was no logic to the impulse; but he honored it. Shortly after, his first book, “The Power of Now” was born.
I love this clip. It’s so simple and clear.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Another helpful moment of awareness for me was the simple question, “What does this moment want from me? What wants to born?”
This week when I have become aware that I am caught up in my usual pattern of thinking and acting; I have been asking myself, “What does this moment want from me?” “What wants to be born?”
Since Monday’s class I’ve asked that a half dozen times…the results have been tremendous. Each time the answer has led me to writing part of a novel that I have been ignoring for 8 months. This week I completed a chapter that had I abandoned.
If you haven’t tuned into Oprah’s conversation with Eckhart Tolle and the worldwide discussion of his new book “A New Earth”; I highly recommend it.
The first live broadcast to a class of more than half a million people around the world took place Monday night. You can download the hour and half video from Oprah’s site or from iTunes. There will be (9) more Monday night classes.
I invite you to read the book, it is absolutely the best of this genre and is a genuine tool to help us awaken. Register for the class and download the workbook.
I look forward to sharing the energy and awareness of “A New Earth” on this blog.
