Attention

It was the first time that I worked with Richard Strozzi-Heckler. Our group of twenty or more sat in a large circle. The formalities of introductions and and ice-breaking were complete and Richard began guiding us on one of our first learning exercises.

“Close your eyes.”

We did.

“Now bring your attention to sounds. Take a moment. Listen. What do you hear?”

I brought my attention to the sounds in the room. As if by magic I became aware of the hum of the air conditioner, there were a few muffled voices speaking in the hallway, the coffee pot gurgled. I could hear the sounds of birds outside, and the far off sound of traffic. The sounds of my own breathing came into focus, a subtle hum that seemed to come from the flourescent lights in the room. I could hear the movement of one of the other students shifting in their seat.

The more attention I placed on hearing the sounds around me, the more I heard.

Then Richard interrupted, “Now place your attention on your ’sit bones’.”

As I focused on my ’sit bones’ the sounds faded away and the world of sensations in my body became more vivid. I could feel the pressure of the chair on my butt, the feel of my pants on my skin, my feet squarely pressed to the floor, my lower back slightly uncomfortable, a slight pulsing of blood…

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After a few moments, Richard asked us what we had experienced. We reported out the richness of the sounds and sensations we had felt.

“I invite you to consider this: ‘Energy follows attention’.” he said simply.

It was true. When I focused my attention on listening, my experience of the room was transformed into a rich fabric of sounds. Likewise, when I focused on my ’sit bones’, I experienced the room in a completely different way.

Looking back on this simple exercise I realize there was a lot of wisdom embedded within it.

On one level it was teaching the power of training my mind to focus. With the right level of focus all the irrelevant distractions disappeared and many important details appeared that would otherwise have been invisible. These details and little subtleties that a trained and focus attention uncovered were the things that allowed me to experience the world in a richer and more connected way.

The exercise was also a way to bring each of us fully into the present moment. When I trained my attention on the “now” of listening or feeling my bodily sensations, I wasn’t anxious about the future or reliving the past. I wasn’t preparing, or judging, or letting my mind chatter crazily. I was in the moment.

This little activity showed me that when I deliberately focused my attention; incredible new worlds and new experiences opened for me.

I can see how easy it is to live without deliberateness. I can also see how different life is when I pay attention to what is important. When I focus, the distractions, the things that can suck up my energy in unproductive ways diminish. I become fully present in the moment and open to possibilities that I would’ve gone unnoticed if I were distracted or inattentive.

in gratitude to Richard

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pete

Image Credit: TransDual Duality by H.Koppdelaneys

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The Cycle

There is a cycle that all life follows.

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Beginnning, Expanding, Climaxing, and Emptying.

The cycle repeats itself over and over throughout our lives.

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We see it in every breath we take.

Sometimes we try to avoid the feeling of depletion, exhaustion;

We are vacant and barren. We are afraid.

We don’t trust that the cycle will move on

And lead us to new beginnings.

We try to hold on to the fullness of our successes.

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Like the exhilaration of a wonderful deep breath

We can not hold it forever.

We must let go and surrender to the sacred cycle.

Trusting in its wisdom.

Trusting that just as our next breath begins the cycle anew,

Each cycle presents us with new possibilities.

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pete

Image Credits: Ahmed Amr G.; Beatrice Ferrari; Brady Guido; Peggy Morrow

Unconditional Love

I was thirty when I felt my life come crashing down. My divorce was finalized and I was feeling a deep sense of failure. I was on my own and somewhere inside me I harbored the thought that I might not ever be loved by someone again. I was lonely and afraid.

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I drove seven hours to be with my family over Christmas vacation.

The holiday was a mix of the warmth of family traditions and the sadness of being alone. I moved from one mood to another several times each day.

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Before returning home on my last day, I visited my bedridden grandmother. We ate our favorite lunch of rice and beans with chicken and sweet plantains together and talked. As I hugged her good-bye she held my face close to hers and whispered to me, “You’re a good boy, Peter.”

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It turned out to be the last time I saw her and those words were the last she ever spoke to me. She was a beautiful soul. I think at the time I didn’t feel like a “good boy”. My grandmother saw my goodness, and loved me when I didn’t love myself. What a gift she was in my life.


I often think back to that hug and those words; the unconditional love she showed me in that last encounter; indeed throughout my entire life. I would not be who I am today without the sweet benefit of her love.

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My wish is that whenever I part with someone; whether for a few minutes, a few days, or forever; that I can part, as she did with me, with words of unconditional love.

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Our Most Difficult Students Are Our Best Teachers

Our most difficult students can be our best teachers.

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Like a storm that takes everything out of us

The wild wind scouring away our surfaces

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Exposing our shortcomings

The behaviors we exhibit on sun scented days

Our impatience, our fear of the unknown,

The limits of our knowledge.

We survive by being fully present in the moment

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Bending and twisting as nature requires

And surrendering to the wisdom of our bodies.

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pete

Forgiveness

A few minutes into my first session with my teacher, he offered me to give me an assessment. I wanted to hear it, after all I had just explained to him in great detail the shortcomings of a number of people who worked for me at the time. His take on how to go about fixing them would be helpful.

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“Pete” he began seriously, “I can see that for most of your life you have been very judgmental and not very compassionate.”

My face flushed. I wasn’t expecting him to assess ME, I thought he was going to assess the folks, that I just pointed out to him, had all these issues that were driving me crazy.

The odd thing was that what he said resonated deep within me. It was as if the truth of his words were vibrating in me like a tuning fork.

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A voice inside me said, “It’s true you are judgmental and you aren’t compassionate.”

Then he said something else that I didn’t fully understand at the time, “Pete, the lack of compassion that you show others and the judgments you have of others, is just a reflection of how you treat yourself. The harder you are on yourself, the harder you are on everyone else in your life.”

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Once again, I was in awe of the truth of these words. On the surface I was a successful person, “the boss”; but deep down I had a lot of negative self judgments and a simmering anger.

In order to grow as a person I had to learn to forgive myself, to stop judging myself so harshly, and to accept myself with all my imperfections. This would be the centerpiece of my work with my teacher for the next year.

Having this insight about myself did not magically transform me. Insights are merely thoughts. It took much practice and help from my teacher over the course of the year for me to begin to live from a place of forgiveness and compassion.

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The insight I received was an important awakening…but the journey was, and still is the most exciting and fulfilling part of my life.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes quotes

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Credits: All the images in this post are the work of Matt Champlin.