Inner Voice

November 26, 2007 at 10:17 pm (awakening, courage, heart, inspiration, poetry, surrender, transformation)

An anonymous 14th Century poem speaks of his inner voice as a call from God.

Lord, you called to me,
And I did answer thee
With words slow and sleepy:
“Wait awhile! Wait a little!”
But while and while have no end,
And wait a little is a long road.

I find it comforting to believe that there is a force within me that is perpetually guiding me toward what is best for me…and for the world. This inner voice is guiding me to self-healing, self-knowledge, and fulfillment. As does the poet, I often respond with “Wait awhile! Wait a little!”

The beauty of this voice, this inner teacher, is that it reminds me, at any moment I care to listen, that I am perfect as I am; that I need not struggle, and that by letting go of the image of the person I would like to be and by surrendering to who I am, I can stop acting and I can begin living.

pete

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Lighting the Way

November 23, 2007 at 10:48 pm (courage, heart, inspiration, poetry, surrender, transformation)

Whenever we have the courage to be ourselves, with all our imperfections; we light the way for others.

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I remember when my sister had a miscarriage. My wife and I went to see her. As we entered her house, she suddenly broke down in tears. My immediate feeling was to comfort her with a hug; but I hesitated, self consciously. In the meantime, my wife had already embraced her fully. My moment of self conscious hesitation, was the wall between my true and loving spirit, and the image I project to the world.

Why the wall? ….perhaps it is my fear of letting go.

I get afraid when I’m not in control; I wonder what others might think of me. As long as I know the rules of the game, have a good idea about what is coming next, and have time to think and prepare; I’m ok. I often think about how I should be acting in a particular situation. In truth, that’s exactly what it is…acting. I know that I don’t want to be acting out my life, as if it were a movie. I want to live it. I want to tear down the wall that separates my feelings and my actions.

So, I have begun to find my way home; home to the parts of myself I have hidden or ignored for most of my life. I practice opening my heart. I practice acting without having my mind and its self-doubts intercede. As I journey, I am struck by how familiar the stranger in the mirror seems; and on some days, how lost and confused.

Every step I take on my journey, the more I am my true self, acting without affectation and fear; the better lighted the path is for others who are on the same journey.

pete

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The Commute

November 17, 2007 at 2:37 pm (awakening, commuting, inspiration, purpose, transformation)

It was 6am and I was traveling to work. Around me, wide-eyed, Type A personalities whizzed through sleepy commuters, contentedly sipping their coffees, as the sun began its usual climb into the haze of the suburban sky. Trucks tailgated slow moving cars in the hopes of racing through this section of highway before it became clogged with its full complement of morning traffic. It was best to be in the right lane, out of the way.

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The radio was chattering in the background. My mind wandered. Unusual thoughts began to seep into my consciousness. Some of them were fantasies of other places, warmer, more relaxing, with endless stretches of white sand beaches. Some, just memories, came to rest softly on long lost friends and loved ones. Gently, the fantasies faded. I became aware of an inner voice speaking,

“Do you really like your what you do? Yeah, you like it most of the time; but do you love it? Is it making a difference? Are you? “

I was a hypnotized by the questions that just kept flowing, as if there were someone else inside me asking them, “If you retired today, would many people come to your farewell dinner? What would they say about you? What’s missing? Are you challenged? “ And then after a moment of nothingness came, “Why are you here?”

I’ve been told that peoples’ souls are always searching for truth. If that’s right, then my soul found me in the quiet of my car, alone, in traffic.

pete

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The Way It Is

November 14, 2007 at 6:53 pm (heart, inspiration, poetry, transformation)

The Way It Is
by William Stafford

There is a thread you follow
It goes among things that change,
but it does not change.

People wonder what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread,
but it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it, you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen,
people get hurt,
or die,
And you suffer and get old.

Nothing you can do can stop time
unfolding.

But you don’t ever let go of the thread.

Some of us have lost the thread somewhere along the way or may never have realized that it was there for us. It’s easy to find…if we want to. There is a gentle voice in our hearts that whispers to us. It can be hard to hear if we let our minds chatter away like crazy monkeys, never stopping; even as we lay our heads on our pillows at night. It may be time to listen, to be quiet. What is the thread are you holding?

pete

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